7 Habits That Secretly Bore Your Friends

7 Habits That Secretly Bore Your Friends

Having good friends that you can rely on is important. However, there are some habits that can unintentionally push your friends away or bore them. Being aware of these friendship-damaging habits can help you be a better friend. Here are 7 habits that may secretly bore your friends:

1. You Only Talk About Yourself

One of the fastest ways to bore your friends is to make every conversation about you. Self-centeredness is tiring for friends. They want a two-way dialogue, not a one-way monologue about your life.

To avoid this:

  • Ask your friends questions about their lives too. Show interest in their activities, relationships, work, and hobbies.
  • Don’t try to one-up their stories with something that happened to you. Listen attentively.
  • If you catch yourself dominating the discussion, make a point to ask them their thoughts and steer the focus back to them.

2. You Have No Filter

Oversharing personal details or inappropriate stories can make friends uncomfortable. TMI (too much information) forces them into an awkward position.

To avoid this:

  • Be mindful of what you share and who you share it with. Some things are better kept private.
  • Pay attention to friends’ reactions as you talk. Do they seem engaged or uncomfortable? Filter yourself accordingly.
  • Err on the side of being more discreet until you know someone well. Don’t unload deeply personal details on casual acquaintances.

3. You Repeat Yourself

When you retell the same stories or repeat yourself frequently in conversation, it becomes tedious for friends. They may tune you out once they know how a story ends.

To avoid this:

  • Be aware of topics you discuss often and stories you share repeatedly. Retire the repeats.
  • Jot down notable things that happen so you always have fresh material to discuss.
  • Before launching into a story, ask friends if you’ve shared it before. If so, move on to something new.

4. You Interrupt or Dominate Group Conversations

In group settings, you should avoid interrupting others or dominating the discussion. Let everyone have a chance to speak. Monopolizing the conversation frustrates people and makes them less likely to interact with you.

To avoid this:

  • Practice active listening skills. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk over others.
  • Avoid immediately jumping in when someone finishes speaking. Let the conversation unfold naturally.
  • If you have lots of thoughts to share, make sure to get input from everyone first, not just the most vocal.

5. You’re Always Late

Friends will get aggravated if your tardiness becomes a pattern. Their time is valuable too. Frequently showing up late signals irresponsibility, lack of respect, or lack of interest.

To avoid this:

  • If you’re someone who is perpetually late, reset your expectations. Start getting ready earlier.
  • Build in a 10-15 minute buffer window before you need to leave for appointments.
  • Let friends know ASAP if a delay is unavoidable. Don’t leave them hanging.

6. You Flake Out on Plans

Backing out on plans last minute is inconsiderate, unless it’s an true emergency. When you flake out repeatedly, friends will stop viewing you as reliable. Rejection hurts, even if it’s “just” cancelled dinner plans.

To avoid this:

  • Honor plans you commit to, when possible. Friends may hesitate to keep inviting someone flaky.
  • Give friends as much notice as you can if you do need to cancel, so you don’t leave them high and dry.
  • Offer specific alternative days if you can’t make it. Don’t just cancel without suggesting another time.

7. You’re Glued to Your Phone

Friends will feel ignored and undervalued when you’re constantly on your phone around them. This sends the message that they rank lower than your digital distractions.

To avoid this:

  • Put your phone away when spending quality time together. Give friends your undivided attention.
  • If using your phone briefly, explain why so friends don’t feel dismissed. Ex: “Just quickly texting my mom back.”
  • Establish some phone-free bonding activities. Go on a hike or have a board game night.

By being aware of these friendship faux pas, you can avoid subtly alienating your friends and boring them to death. Show people they matter by listening well, being reliable, and making them feel like a priority. Invest time into nurturing your real world relationships, not just digital ones. Strong friendships require care and mutual effort.